Winnebago, NE

"They Buried My Friend"
by Rev. Ricky Jacob
Associate Staff

Tell A Friend

Over the past several years I was able to visit my friend countless times. Some of these times were in his mother’s home. Other times were during a meal. Many times it was in the hospital or a nursing home.

My friend was dying a slow but certain death (we all are, but for some it is much more apparent). At times, my friend was at wit’s end. My friend lost his ability to see, to walk, and to paint. He often was in pain, severe pain. He was more than ready to die and to be quite honest, he wanted to die many times over.

At times my friend became angry. At times my friend was demanding of others. The angrier and more demanding he became the more difficult it was to be his friend and to visit him. My friend all the more needed a listening ear.

By God’s grace I was that listening ear. More important I proclaimed God’s Word that strengthens wearied souls who were weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care! You see my friend had a big heart for others. My friend had a ton of regrets in his own life which weighed heavy upon him. Time and time again I would remind my friend of God’s unconditional love for him and for others who were hurting. And we would pray!

About two weeks before my friend died he gave me a beaded cross that one of his sister’s had made. He gave it to me as a “thank you” for being there for him as his friend. In retrospect I wonder if he knew that he would soon be leaving this world of pain and suffering.

I was not there when my friend suffered a heart attack and was rushed to the hospital. His family attempted to notify me, but I was not home at the time. Later that evening I was told that he had died. I went to be with his mother at his oldest brother’s home. I gave her a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. We also cried tears of joy in knowing that her son, my friend, knew Jesus as his Lord and Savior!

Her son’s death brought back the sadness of having to bury her husband some 22 years ago. My friend’s mother is a Christian while her husband was a traditionalist. I do not know much about being a native traditionalist. Only God can discern whether one can be a traditionalist and a Christian at the same time.

My friend’s father’s funeral was led by a man in the traditional way. This same man was asked to lead the four day wake and funeral service. My friend had requested of his mother that I would be given the opportunity to have a part in the funeral service. She promised that this request would be done. I willingly agreed to my friend’s request.

There are many ways that are unique to a traditional Winnebago wake and funeral. I am ignorant and unable to explain these ways. The meals are served on the ground/floor with about 20 at a time eating with the male relatives going first. You are supposed to eat some of everything offered. You are not to lift up your bowl from the floor. When one gets up another is invited to take his place.

On the day of the funeral I was asked by the eldest brother not to speak words of comfort at the service. The traditional Winnebago man had begun his work and he would finish it. It was ironic for me to have this brother, whom I had heard at many other funerals sing Christian hymns of God’s grace, request my silence. I sadly remained silent.

At the graveside the members of his family and then the members of his clan were instructed to take a handful of dirt, in their left hand, and toss it on the casket. The others were to respectfully file on by. We were further instructed to not look back but to carry on whatever we had planned to do that evening.

They buried my friend the other day in the traditional way. But I know full well that my friend’s spirit is at peace with our Lord and Savior Jesus. I am honored and humbled to serve the living while they are living by offering the forgiveness that comes in knowing Jesus as Lord and Savior!