Sioux Lookout, Ontario
Longing for Significance
by Linda Martin, Ministry Staff
“There are so many who die without realizing and experiencing what they were meant to be!” This was a comment from one of the participants on the second to last day of a four-day workshop on Basic Counseling Skills. 
I had teamed up with three others to do this workshop in a northern community called Bearskin Lake. The first few days were spent teaching on various personal issues that people often struggle with their entire lives. One of the key points was how some of these issues can go back to childhood and teenage experiences, and how these painful experiences can still affect the way they see themselves, the way they see life, and the way they see God. The comment above came with the deep realization that one can live their whole life and die without ever realizing the full potential of what and who God intended them to be.
I remember another comment made by one of my instructors while I was in Bible college. He said that, “If we could only see the other person in their eternal state; who they were meant to be before the ravages of a broken world affected them, we would stand in awe of the beauty in that person.” He was not talking about beauty as the world understands it but the beauty God intended in the person created in His image. That thought has stayed with me, and challenged me all these years in this ministry to the hurting and broken.
The premise of our teaching in the Counseling Skills workshop, or any other workshop, is that each one of us is created in the image of God. Each one of us reflects something of who God is. But the effects of the Fall, the sin of the human race, have marred our ability to live as God intended. As we all know so well, we live in a fallen world where people hurt others, and where people get hurt. Many of us come away from these personal experiences with much unresolved pain, what is often thought of as wounding. Often, it is this wounding from life that leads to our distorted sense of being. If we do not deal with our pain, whether it is unresolved grief or unresolved anger we end up limping through life and we do not experience the full potential of what God had intended.
One of the most vulnerable groups in our society is children. Children by nature and by God’s design are dependent on adults, whether they are parents, extended family, or any main caregiver in their life to look after their needs. This need may be emotional, such as love, acceptance, respect, etc.; or a physical need such as clothing, food, and shelter; or spiritual need such as teaching them who they are, their purpose, and who God is. Many times we fail as parents to properly care for and love our children, without intending to. We may even make them feel neglected, abandoned and rejected. In worst-case situations children may end up feeling that they are “not loved,” “not accepted,” and “not important” or that there is “something wrong with them.” Thankfully we can find forgiveness and grace through our faith in Jesus Christ — to rebuild broken and hurting relationships. Jesus not only heals, He helps to restore what God the Father intends for us to be.
One of the turning points in my healing journey came when I understood that I carried the image of God in who I am as a Native person. A good part of my pain came from being Native, living my life in the shadows of thedominant culture. Even though no one came to me face-to-face and tried to tell me that being Native was not good enough, I began to feel less than others. I began to believe that I was not good enough as a Native person, and that I did not have a place in society. This is the pain and the shame that I carried for many years.
But then Jesus began to transform my life. When I found out that I carried the image of the Almighty God in who I was as a Native person it brought so much freedom to me as a Native woman. Suddenly I understood that I was “okay.” That it was “okay” to be Native. All the messages that I believed about not being good enough as a Native person were not true after all. I discovered God wanted me to be “Native,” and even more than that “He was delighted in me.” When I understood this, it brought so much healing and so much freedom to my soul. It was like me saying, “You mean to say that there is nothing wrong with me as a Native person?” And God responding, “No, my child. You are my beloved. I am delighted in you!” Zephaniah 3:17 (NIV) For someone who never heard such tender words or believed them it was like a salve to my hurting soul.
Brennan Manning’s book, “Abba’s Child: The Cry of the Heart for Intimate Belonging” also addresses this. He quotes Merton saying that the foundation of our true self is to understand that we are loved by Christ. You see, some of our greatest needs are to belong and to be loved unconditionally. When a home breaks up, the child does not have a place to belong. When a child feels abandoned and rejected, he does not feel loved. These attack the essence of who he is as an individual that leaves him with an emptiness that hinders. But when we find our place in the embrace of our Lord Jesus, we have found ourselves. “Our identity rests in God’s relentless tenderness for us revealed in Jesus Christ.” (Brennan Manning) In our workshops we help people come to a place where they understand that their unresolved issues can still affect them in the present, and how they can find healing in Jesus.