Our Ministry
The Face of Faith
by David Sternbeck
This year we experienced Baptisms, weddings, and funerals. We witnessed spiritual birth through adoption, the joining of two into one flesh, and the entering of a loved one into the Heavenly presence of God. In all of these, some faces continue to come to the forefront of my mind.
When I look through our pictures of Baptisms there is one face missing from the crowd gathered at the river. My dear sister in the Lord and friend is no longer with us. My family and Colleen’s have been connected for many years but I had only known her and her husband, Steve, for as long as we have been ministering in Neah Bay. As she wrestled with her illness and physical decline, we watched in amazement how the Lord was growing not only her faith, but Steve’s faith also.
Colleen had been a Christian for many years, but Steve was not sure about all “that stuff”. He was, however, much in love with his wife and wanted more than anything, to please her. That is why he first started attending church with Colleen. Then, one day, Colleen confided with her signature laugh, “now he’s the first one out the door telling me, 'You will make us late!’”
I was sometimes stunned into silence with Colleen’s honesty about her struggles with her own personal growth and how that affected her husband. She confessed to her anger and bitterness, her fears and doubts, her hopes and dreams she knew she might not see fulfilled. Family issues can be messy, and Steve found himself caught in the crossfire many times. Without fail, we watched Steve quietly listening, gently answering, kindly helping to ease her physical pain and tend to her hurting heart.
Last summer Steve and Colleen decided to renew their wedding vows. Colleen was from the Mowachatt Tribe in Canada. Steve is Makah from Neah Bay. Over the past year there had been some “issues” between the tribes and families involved. They let me choose the words for the ceremony. In my backyard, facing each other with joined hands, they repeated after me.” I will go wherever you go and live wherever you live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. I will die where you die and will be buried there. May the Lord punish me severely if I allow anything but death to separate us!”. (Ruth 1:16&17) Later Colleen talked to me about the promises they had made. When the time came, she had decided to be buried in Neah Bay instead of going home if Steve would promise to have a plot beside her. Steve, who had no children of his own, claimed Colleen’s as his own and promised to treat them as such.
Incredibly, Colleen came to view her sickness as a blessing of sorts. Faced with her own mortality, she reached out to those she was at odds with to heal troubled relationships. She wanted to see her father’s memorial and her son’s wedding before she passed. I was pleasantly surprised when Steve called me and said he wanted to be baptized the weekend after our conference in Neah Bay. When I visited them, Colleen was very thin and weak but excited.
Later that week the call came. Colleen was in the hospital, the family was gathered and Steve asked if I would come. She fought hard to the very end. I was able to pray with the family. Then I watched as Steve bent over his wife and held her face in his hands. Through his tears, with his face close to hers, he said gently,”It’s ok. Honey. You can let go now. You can go home.” After she slipped away he hugged me and said, “I still want to be baptized, just not this weekend.” The village filled the church honoring Colleen and supporting Steve. I had a emotional time officiating the service. I watched as Steve took care of things saying,”This is the way she would have wanted it.”
It is customary for the mourner to cut their hair, put away family songs, and not participate in celebrations for one year. Colleen’s niece, who bears her name, will use a different name during that year.
Sometimes, when Steve comes to church, he looks very sad but never complains. Sometimes he brings friends who haven’t been there for a long time. He keeps busy with work and visiting both of their relatives. He has been giving some of Colleen’s things to people as she had asked. I am impressed with his strength and resolve and yes, faith. Faith that believes that God is in control and whatever He allows will eventually bring forth good.